The Bomb Factory Report
Chronicles of the Phoenix · Joel Mark
📂 THE CHRONICLES OF THE PHOENIX
Case File: 2026-004
The Bomb Factory Report
Apparently this wasn’t a one-time occurrence…
After multiple shifts at Bomb Factory, one of my coworkers would ask me the exact same question at the end of the night:
“So… how many future exes did you find tonight?”
After a quick survey of the room…
“Probably ten… maybe twenty.”
Without missing a beat, she’d look at me and say…
”…and I assume you said nothing?”
Correct.
The subject remained at his assigned station behind the bar.
No introductions.
No conversations.
No investigations beyond visual confirmation from a safe distance.
To be fair… it’s a little difficult to meet someone when you’re actually busy doing your job and can’t leave your bar. 😂
Current Findings:
📝 Estimated Future Exes: 10–20 (Unconfirmed)
📝 Conversations Initiated: 0
📝 Coworker Accuracy: 100%
Princess Belle Marie, Chief Executive Floof, has reviewed the report and issued the following statement:
“Subject remained at assigned station. Operational protocol maintained.”
The investigation remains open.
🦅 Based on actual events… unfortunately.
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Originally published on Facebook, July 1, 2026. View the original post.